I guess that I forgot to mention why I was at a seminary. Thursday and Friday were the fall break for Vanderbilt. It is becoming a part of my schedule for fall break to go with whatever young men are interested in visiting the seminary on a "sprint" to the Pontifical College Josephinum in Columbus, OH. It is where I went to seminary, and it is where most of our diocesean seminarians are studying now. We had a great visit. I have literally never seen things better at the Josephinum.
On the way home, I was discussing with the two young men who were with me about another vocational concern that I have. Healthy vocations to marriage. These are built on healthy relationships between young men and women. It has seemed to me that there are few relationship among the students that I serve that I would really call happy. In the first place, there are few relationships period, and the ones that do exist do so in a very toxic climate with little support for a happy outcome. I feel called to try to provide these sincere young people with about all I have to offer them: the fruit of a little more experience in life. One of my father's most brilliant sayings is: "good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgment." Maybe some of my experience from poor judgment could help them come to good judgment.
DTR -- "define the relationship" This is the code for the rules of "the game" today. It makes perfect sense, in a way. Successful people "take charge" of their lives so it would seem reasonable to "take charge" of one's love life by DTR. I would like to suggest that it does not work, however, simply by pointing to the fruits of its application. Relationships are not happy or strong in our culture. This much I can see. I want to begin to research what is going on now. I have a hunch about a better way, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. Somehow, I think the answer will have something to do with recognizing and serving the mystery of the other, rather than packaging the other into defined categories. I will admit a predisposition to follow the wisdom drawn from a vast depository of good judgment, supported not only by experience but by revelation from the great Lover: the Church, especially as expressed in John Paul II's theology of the body. I would like to try to get there from the bottom up, rather than from the top down, if you know what I mean.
Wish me well!