09 September 2011

Kindly (or Cranky) Fr. Baker's Observations on Friendship with the Opposite Sex

It may sound strange to you, but I want to offer some observations for dealing with the opposite sex. Chesterton did not think it strange that a priest should have good practical insights, even about romance. After all, we spend hours on end listening to the secrets of the hearts of countless individuals. This fact was the basis for the uncanny wisdom of his detective, Fr. Brown. I am not going to pretend to organize these points now. I am giving them to you as they come to me! So here goes:

For women:
+Set a man up for success and praise him for it; don't scold him for failure.
+Don't pursue men i.e. don't ask. Let (i.e. make) them pursue you.
+Do let a man know if you like him. We do not read minds well.
+Accept invitations from men, at least for a while. If you decline right off the bat, he will never ask. You might be missing Prince Charming.
+Expect good behavior.
+Do not tolerate bad behavior.
+Don't go to a man's cave, except when invited for an event. It is really gross! He will start to have you clean up, etc.
+Don't call and visit.
+When he calls or visits, say goodbye and mean it. Leave him wanting more of your time, not trying to get away from you! He can't talk that much!
+Never pay, or even offer to. Remember, he asked.

For men:
+Give women want they want: your attention. Seek them out. Pursue them. Remember the cavemen!
+Man up and do the right thing. Bad behavior is not cute.
+Talk to her. Say: "thank you" and "I'm sorry." Talk to her!
+Ask. Ask. Ask: to go for a walk, to go for coffee, to feed the ducks in Centennial Park, to say the rosary, whatever. Unrequited love remains unrequited if never offered. Ask.
+But don't ask too big, too soon. It scares them!
+Don't take up their time or hang out at their place. If you are interested, ask. If not, don't bother them.
+Call and visit, but reasonably.
+Always pay. Being fun and romantic does not have to be expensive. Use your imagination.

Well, that's a start. Do you want more? Or is that more that enough (too much) already!?


bridget said...

Wish you'd been around a few
decades ago. No regrets, though.

Kristi said...

I love this. Great lists, Fr. Baker! Love practical holy advice on living... especially from YOU!

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